The First Instance

2011-11-12T21:44:00.000-08:00

And every time I felt it…

November 12, 2011. I have had a very fortunate and fulfilling life and I have nothing, well almost nothing to complain about. This is not a story like you have read before with a clear or concealed purpose or meaning. This is the truth of what I have felt. In today’s world information is flung at us via social media, our friends, the television, the radio and anything else you could imagine. We live in a world in which it is hard to shape and form your own opinion. Where does truth start and where does fantasy end (Right now you are probably forming your own opinion about these first few sentences from what you have previously experienced learned or have been taught). Why? Fuck it. Why don’t people just listen.

[Rule number one about life. Life is selfish. We are all here for NUMERO UNO. Many are here for NUMERO UNO and our loved ones (or the ones we are programmed to love). Who we are here for is only truly determined once we face reckoning. The face of destruction reveals true character. For example, one evening being home early from work I thought it would be fun to scare my roommate. It was early November in Boston and the leaves were changing and the sun sets around 5:30- 6:00 that time of year, perfect conditions in which to scare someone. So as my roommate sluggishly climbs the 6 stairs to our side door I wait anxiously. I here him click open the screen door, push open the wooden door, take two steps forward in from the doorway. Meanwhile, I am 2 feet away hidden by darkness behind the entry door to the kitchen awaiting him. He proceeds and cautiously lays out my name…”Dude…you home man.” He knows that I’m home. My Dad’s Volvo sits in the driveway, which he has just parked his, what I think is, a 1998 gold Toyota camry that his father bought him senior year of college. He listens, but only hears the sound of the TV in the near by living room. I have left family guy on and one lamp. This way it will appear as if I have gotten home earlier then usual and have parked my ass on the couch after a bullshit day of work. He hears no sign of life, just the sound of peter griffen making some sort of farting noise. He carefully puts his left arm out into the darkness of the kitchen as if he is testing the cold air for signs of life. He feels nothing and puts his left foot out followed by his right foot making his way past me, two steps deep into the kitchen. Perfect. I have won. I shove the door closed that he has just walked through, shout something (I can’t remember in the heat of the moment, maybe just sounds) and grab the sides of his rib cages. Awesome. There is nothing like scaring someone or being scared.

Sorry for that tangent, but not really. As I’m sure you have already forgotten my message just reading that last story I have certainly forgotten it writing it. Please let me refresh you. True character of one comes forward under the most stressful and unpredictable situations we may find ourselves in. Next post I will talk about what it’s like knowing and having someone who truly cares and love you and what it is like to lose them. And I will answer any questions. Thanks and until next time I’ll leave you with this….

A normal man, of modest means, approached the tribal elder. He asked, wise elder please, I know my life is worth more than what I give now, teach me to be better. The elder sitting Indian style said nothing refusing to make eye contact with this modest man. “Please old wise one” he insisted “teach me how to be a better person.” The elder took two clear jugs and placed them side by side in front of his contorted body. Reaching behind his back he revealed a jug of water. He poured equal amounts into each jug and raised them eye level to the man infront of him. “These glasses represent you and I…in order for me to teach you what I know, you must first empty your glass” spilling the water on the frozen ground.”

Life, what is it good for

The First Instance